And.........
no move.
I went on that job interview Monday. It's a 35 minute drive or so. And the salary range they had listed was 20% less than what I was making. But I went, because really I do need a job. And moving is not the preferable option, just because we ARE upside down on the house. If I honestly believed we could easily sell the house and not have to come up with $15K to take the closing, I'd be all over moving.
Well, I wasn't thrilled with the job - only because of the salary. I really liked the people I met. The plant was beautiful. Excellent benefits (DENTAL! I haven't had dental in 13 years!), a 401K match! Holy crap. Well, I actually even liked the job description. It's not what I normally do, but they DO know my ultimate goal. (Engineering manager...the position is essentially a Quality Supervisor/Customer Liasion) They know I don't want to stay in that position forever and actually seemed pretty excited that I have a 'career plan'. (It's not...I just know engineering managers can hit 6 figures and it's still not ultimate responsibility.) I will be VERY good at the job. But they came back and offered it to me yesterday...with a salary that isn't much less than what I was making previously. It's the benefits though that I can't turn down. Although they don't have to - they pay straight time OT over 45 hours. (Right now they're working 50 every week.) Medical that's SO much better than DH's. (Seriously. We have a $10K family deductible and pay $225 a month for that privelege - and then it only pays 80%. This is $700 family deductible for $150 a month...and it covers 100% after the deductible!) Plus the dental AND vision!!!!! Tuition reimbursement. And the 401K match. It's not much...$.25, but I've never had one at all.
It kind of blows my mind how bad I've had it honestly. I'm a freaking engineer. I've worked for some fairly major companies. And have not had jack to show for it.
The best benefits I've had up til now? Working at FedEx Kinkos...making copies.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Job interview went well, of course. It's for a job I don't want. I'd be awesome at that job. But the 35min commute PLUS the 20% decrease in pay is just something I don't think I can handle. One of the other, I'd probably take it. But both???
Sunday, I went to Flint to visit one of my best friends. She just got a new job in Kalamazoo. They are hiring 100ish people in our field. And it's at a good company. Like a 'keep this job for 30 years and retire' type of company. So I would LOVE to get in there. It's not automotive, which is another huge draw. Since it gets me into medical, I might even have the option in a while to move back down here because there are 3 huge medical companies about 40 minutes from here. (All competitors to the place I applied.)
I applied Monday morning, and had to fill out a couple questionnaires. But the specific job I applied for could have been written for me. About me. It IS me. This is the first job I've really applied for that I truly hope I get. However - they had at least 5 or 6 that fit and I could do. So fingers are crossed.
My mom was a little upset when I told her I applied out of state. She knows we'd eventually move. (DH would stay here with kids until the house sold and I'd get an apartment up there. If I found a great school I might take #1 with me...but probably not until school's over.)
We haven't mentioned to the IL's for fairly obvious reasons. MIL is going to flip. SIL will understand. But MIL will likely remove DH from will. And he will be so upset. Not because of the financial implications of that...but because of what it represents. He doesn't like to admit it, but he's absolutely a Momma's boy. I knew that when I married him. But her cutting him off like that would really cause an issue with them I think.
We won't mention it either until I have a job offer in hand and we have a plan.
Sunday, I went to Flint to visit one of my best friends. She just got a new job in Kalamazoo. They are hiring 100ish people in our field. And it's at a good company. Like a 'keep this job for 30 years and retire' type of company. So I would LOVE to get in there. It's not automotive, which is another huge draw. Since it gets me into medical, I might even have the option in a while to move back down here because there are 3 huge medical companies about 40 minutes from here. (All competitors to the place I applied.)
I applied Monday morning, and had to fill out a couple questionnaires. But the specific job I applied for could have been written for me. About me. It IS me. This is the first job I've really applied for that I truly hope I get. However - they had at least 5 or 6 that fit and I could do. So fingers are crossed.
My mom was a little upset when I told her I applied out of state. She knows we'd eventually move. (DH would stay here with kids until the house sold and I'd get an apartment up there. If I found a great school I might take #1 with me...but probably not until school's over.)
We haven't mentioned to the IL's for fairly obvious reasons. MIL is going to flip. SIL will understand. But MIL will likely remove DH from will. And he will be so upset. Not because of the financial implications of that...but because of what it represents. He doesn't like to admit it, but he's absolutely a Momma's boy. I knew that when I married him. But her cutting him off like that would really cause an issue with them I think.
We won't mention it either until I have a job offer in hand and we have a plan.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Turns out my husband and I are on the same page...job-wise. He just has zero capability to share that with me without two or three days to think about it.
Talked a long time last night. Neither of us WANT to move. Especially because we're going to take a bath on this house. I need to have a realtor come over before I decide to take any job that requires moving. The company that's 2 hours away has some relocation package....but I doubt it's going to cover the $10K or so we'd have to take to closing. Which means we either walk away from this house, trashing our credit in the process and rent for the next 5-7 years, or we're stuck in this house. I don't have a problem being in this house....but finding a job within an hour is proving fairly difficult. Although I've had considerable luck in the last week it appears.
The biggest issue is, of course, his job. But even he's at the point where he knows he's only there to keep his family happy. It's a complete and total dead end job and he admits that now. So if we move. It HAS to be for a job where he could be a SAHD. He enjoyed it a lot more than I do. I really thought I'd like this more than I do. But it's been 7 months. And while I'm not chomping at the bit to return to work, I'd like to leave the house occasionally. Right now, honestly, the only time I leave is when I go running. Three times a week. And at least once a week, I do that in the basement on the treadmill. I'm starting to go nuts. But we're pretty poor at the moment. Nothing like trying to support 6 people on $33K.
Anyway. Monday I have a job interview. It's for a job I don't really want. It barely pays more than unemployment. Seriously. $40K a year. Which is decent for around here actually. But is CRAP compared to what I made at my last job. We were finally at the point where he was going to quit and SAH...when they announced they were splitting up and selling off the company. We had to wait until we sold the old house, plus 6 months to make sure we were covered for anything, building up some savings etc. I got laid off 6 months after we sold the old house...and it wasn't a surprise. We both knew it was coming, which was why he hadn't already quit.
However - if I get that job, I'll have to take it or lose my UE. And that means that I have 40 min commute, for $20K less a year. So obviously, he will not be able to SAH. Will still have to have my mom watch the kids...likely need to have her do more chauffering than she was before. (At the old job I could drop the girls off at school on my way.) This job is rotating. Every 3 months, a different shift. The 4th rotation is at the truck plant. (On 1st shift I think) But being back at the truck plant would be hard enough. I worked there for 5 years. Both he and I wish neither of us had ever quit. He really thought he was headed to better opportunity at his family business though. And I thought I was going SAH forever. See how far that got me......
Anyway. He says whatever we determine to be best for all 6 of us, whether it's moving or staying here, he'll support me. And he'll quit to SAH. But he also pointed out...if we're going to move, why limit ourselves to 2 hours? Why not look anywhere in the country? (I kinda want to stick to 3 hours away or so honestly, just so we're a car ride away from family.) It just took him 2 days to say all this....of course, he had a miserable 2 days, because I was pissed.
Talked a long time last night. Neither of us WANT to move. Especially because we're going to take a bath on this house. I need to have a realtor come over before I decide to take any job that requires moving. The company that's 2 hours away has some relocation package....but I doubt it's going to cover the $10K or so we'd have to take to closing. Which means we either walk away from this house, trashing our credit in the process and rent for the next 5-7 years, or we're stuck in this house. I don't have a problem being in this house....but finding a job within an hour is proving fairly difficult. Although I've had considerable luck in the last week it appears.
The biggest issue is, of course, his job. But even he's at the point where he knows he's only there to keep his family happy. It's a complete and total dead end job and he admits that now. So if we move. It HAS to be for a job where he could be a SAHD. He enjoyed it a lot more than I do. I really thought I'd like this more than I do. But it's been 7 months. And while I'm not chomping at the bit to return to work, I'd like to leave the house occasionally. Right now, honestly, the only time I leave is when I go running. Three times a week. And at least once a week, I do that in the basement on the treadmill. I'm starting to go nuts. But we're pretty poor at the moment. Nothing like trying to support 6 people on $33K.
Anyway. Monday I have a job interview. It's for a job I don't really want. It barely pays more than unemployment. Seriously. $40K a year. Which is decent for around here actually. But is CRAP compared to what I made at my last job. We were finally at the point where he was going to quit and SAH...when they announced they were splitting up and selling off the company. We had to wait until we sold the old house, plus 6 months to make sure we were covered for anything, building up some savings etc. I got laid off 6 months after we sold the old house...and it wasn't a surprise. We both knew it was coming, which was why he hadn't already quit.
However - if I get that job, I'll have to take it or lose my UE. And that means that I have 40 min commute, for $20K less a year. So obviously, he will not be able to SAH. Will still have to have my mom watch the kids...likely need to have her do more chauffering than she was before. (At the old job I could drop the girls off at school on my way.) This job is rotating. Every 3 months, a different shift. The 4th rotation is at the truck plant. (On 1st shift I think) But being back at the truck plant would be hard enough. I worked there for 5 years. Both he and I wish neither of us had ever quit. He really thought he was headed to better opportunity at his family business though. And I thought I was going SAH forever. See how far that got me......
Anyway. He says whatever we determine to be best for all 6 of us, whether it's moving or staying here, he'll support me. And he'll quit to SAH. But he also pointed out...if we're going to move, why limit ourselves to 2 hours? Why not look anywhere in the country? (I kinda want to stick to 3 hours away or so honestly, just so we're a car ride away from family.) It just took him 2 days to say all this....of course, he had a miserable 2 days, because I was pissed.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Hmmmmm. Tough night.
Guilt over #4's burn. No idea how or even when he did it. Had to be while I was cooking dinner. I'm guessing it was while I was trying to pee with the door shut....It's about 3" long up his left wrist, and he never made a sound. We didn't even notice it until at least 20 minutes after it happened. It had already scabbed over and I never knew it was there. When I first saw it, I thought he had written on himself with a marker.
And having to come to grips with the fact that J's JOB will always trump my career. I have several big job opportunities at good companies. That pay more than I made at my last job. And twice what he makes. Yet he just plain refuses to consider them because he doesn't want to move and because he feels guilty leaving the family business. The family business that hasn't done squat for us. That I wouldn't encourage my children to work at ever. When my UE runs out, we're going to be so close on paying all our bills that I will likely get to go apply for food stamps. We were eligible with only 2 kids....so we're way over with 4. And WIC. Both boys are eligible to get that. And going through 7 gallons of milk, 2 dozen eggs, 3 loaves of bread, and $35 worth of fruit EVERY WEEK....well, WIC would definitely help. (I'm pretty sure it won't cover the fruit, but even if it helps with the rest, it would be huge.)
It's just hard knowing that it doesn't matter what education I have. It doesn't matter what ambition I have. All that matters is that I fell in love with and married a man who refuses to move and has zero ambition.
Can't wait to attempt explaining this one to my girls.....:( Hard to tell them they can do anything, be anything, and that they have choices, when I so obviously do not. It would be one thing if I was CHOOSING to stay at home. But they both know I'm looking for a job. They both know how me working affects their life. (Not much honestly other than materially....because my mom FT nannies for us, their life is really not affected much. The only thing that changes for them is who picks them up from school and supervises homework time.)
So now what do I do? Give up the job search that was finally yielding results? Or attempt to find one within the hour commute? (That wasn't going well...that's what I was doing for the previous 6.5 months.) I have 17 weeks of UE left. Unfortunately we have 7 months of van payments left and 3 months of student loan payments. Then we're down to just the house. It just really upsets me. 3 months ago, I specifically asked him "We need to talk about what would happen if I SAH. Or if I should." His response? "It would dramatically change our life, and I'm not sure that you should." So.....he doesn't want me to SAH because it would seriously alter the lifestyle to which he is accustomed. But he refuses to consider some of the best jobs I could get. [Yes, he would likely be a SAHD for most of these positions...especially if we had to move.]
And there we are.
Guilt over #4's burn. No idea how or even when he did it. Had to be while I was cooking dinner. I'm guessing it was while I was trying to pee with the door shut....It's about 3" long up his left wrist, and he never made a sound. We didn't even notice it until at least 20 minutes after it happened. It had already scabbed over and I never knew it was there. When I first saw it, I thought he had written on himself with a marker.
And having to come to grips with the fact that J's JOB will always trump my career. I have several big job opportunities at good companies. That pay more than I made at my last job. And twice what he makes. Yet he just plain refuses to consider them because he doesn't want to move and because he feels guilty leaving the family business. The family business that hasn't done squat for us. That I wouldn't encourage my children to work at ever. When my UE runs out, we're going to be so close on paying all our bills that I will likely get to go apply for food stamps. We were eligible with only 2 kids....so we're way over with 4. And WIC. Both boys are eligible to get that. And going through 7 gallons of milk, 2 dozen eggs, 3 loaves of bread, and $35 worth of fruit EVERY WEEK....well, WIC would definitely help. (I'm pretty sure it won't cover the fruit, but even if it helps with the rest, it would be huge.)
It's just hard knowing that it doesn't matter what education I have. It doesn't matter what ambition I have. All that matters is that I fell in love with and married a man who refuses to move and has zero ambition.
Can't wait to attempt explaining this one to my girls.....:( Hard to tell them they can do anything, be anything, and that they have choices, when I so obviously do not. It would be one thing if I was CHOOSING to stay at home. But they both know I'm looking for a job. They both know how me working affects their life. (Not much honestly other than materially....because my mom FT nannies for us, their life is really not affected much. The only thing that changes for them is who picks them up from school and supervises homework time.)
So now what do I do? Give up the job search that was finally yielding results? Or attempt to find one within the hour commute? (That wasn't going well...that's what I was doing for the previous 6.5 months.) I have 17 weeks of UE left. Unfortunately we have 7 months of van payments left and 3 months of student loan payments. Then we're down to just the house. It just really upsets me. 3 months ago, I specifically asked him "We need to talk about what would happen if I SAH. Or if I should." His response? "It would dramatically change our life, and I'm not sure that you should." So.....he doesn't want me to SAH because it would seriously alter the lifestyle to which he is accustomed. But he refuses to consider some of the best jobs I could get. [Yes, he would likely be a SAHD for most of these positions...especially if we had to move.]
And there we are.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Hmmmm - gonna try this again. My last post here was over 6 years ago!!!!
I've had 2 more kids, 2 jobs, 2 vans, and a new house since then.
Unemployed still.
Had a phone interview today, but I'm not sure it's a job I'd want. It pays significantly less than my last job, but has a 35 minute commute. Which is a big deal with this many kids, after school activities, and just overall responsibilities.
School canceled today. Icy out...figures that school would be canceled the day I have a phone interview. Fortunately my mom came over and entertained them in the basement. The husband had to go to Redi-Med and stopped over afterwards. He strained a muscle in his left wrist and has a 5lb weight limit. Has physical therapy next week. It makes me laugh because I strained a calf muscle and can't do jack about it. I'm supposed to stay off it as much as possible. (Yeah, that's not possible very often.) I'm supposed to keep it elevated as much as possible. (Again, not very often because as soon as I get it up, somebody needs something.) And I'm supposed to ice it regularly. (Mostly I just don't like ice! I've been using Icy Hot patches and they are working about as well as I expect.)
Ran 5m yesterday. But I've now gained 10lbs since I got laid off. :( Sucks because now I have over 20lbs to lose. Really sucks because I've run almost 40 miles so far this month and keep gaining weight. Apparently running makes me hungry!
I've had 2 more kids, 2 jobs, 2 vans, and a new house since then.
Unemployed still.
Had a phone interview today, but I'm not sure it's a job I'd want. It pays significantly less than my last job, but has a 35 minute commute. Which is a big deal with this many kids, after school activities, and just overall responsibilities.
School canceled today. Icy out...figures that school would be canceled the day I have a phone interview. Fortunately my mom came over and entertained them in the basement. The husband had to go to Redi-Med and stopped over afterwards. He strained a muscle in his left wrist and has a 5lb weight limit. Has physical therapy next week. It makes me laugh because I strained a calf muscle and can't do jack about it. I'm supposed to stay off it as much as possible. (Yeah, that's not possible very often.) I'm supposed to keep it elevated as much as possible. (Again, not very often because as soon as I get it up, somebody needs something.) And I'm supposed to ice it regularly. (Mostly I just don't like ice! I've been using Icy Hot patches and they are working about as well as I expect.)
Ran 5m yesterday. But I've now gained 10lbs since I got laid off. :( Sucks because now I have over 20lbs to lose. Really sucks because I've run almost 40 miles so far this month and keep gaining weight. Apparently running makes me hungry!
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